Imagine David Feherty as a NASCAR Colour Commentator

I think he just got paid. Yes I said paid.

I’d watch that!

And David would spell colour that way because that is how it was originally intended to be (use his voice in the whole story which makes for an interesting read that way). If you don’t know who David Feherty is (I keep spellin’ it (pronounced spellinyet) wrong) well then were you just born or just part of a group that only watches documentaries on the subject of dryin’ paint.

Well the problem would be that NASCAR and CBS or the Golf Channel (for that matter) don’t have a current working agreement and NASCAR has decided to dilute their viewing approach by spreading it out over 3 networks with no one really doin’ a bang up job, in my opinion. Ted Turner must have really deep pockets and relations in the France family (fam-a-lee′ (say it real fast) if you are trying to talk like Feherty, which I think even David has difficulty understandin’ at times). I couldn’t determine if Mike Helton was related to the France family but everyone in the south is closely related, didn’t you know.

I wonder what it would cost to get Dick Berggren out of retirement. My choice for a new line up would be to have just one network cover all the races and have Mr. Bestwick do the race announcin’ and have DW and Feherty do the race colour. I could imagine Feherty on Tony Stewart—“There wouldn’t be much danger of mistakin’ the driver of number 14 for the likes of the wee-Scot, Jackie Stewart; although their drivin’ records both show that they were successful on the track” and DW could just laugh and relay some story in his past as to how or when he raced against Jackie, even if he never did, since DW is just so plain believable.

I’d watch that but it ain’t never gonna’ happen in NASCAR. It’s not really car racin’ anymore you know in the true sense of the words. It’s all become part of the big entertainment thing and how to draw the cash out of those good workin’ folks that they attract to the events.

And NASCAR works real hard at hurtin' their eardrums (pronounced airdrums). Oh it’s not the racin’ you know; it’s more about the one that they get to sing the National Anthem before the race. I turn the volume down because you don’t want to breakin’ any windows, now would ya?

I think I’ll stick to golf. I’m more familiar with the balls in that sport.

Apparently this is not the right uniform.
(No it isn't a very good picture but we couldn't use one of Miss Sprint Cup)

While I was scanning the Internet for a suitable picture of Mr. Feherty, I tripped over this link in the NASCAR.com photo galleries. I didn’t see any connection to any racin’ though, so maybe they are wooin’ him after all.

I’m kinda’ proud of this one, the story, don’t you know.