My New Family Must All Be Drunk

...Gollybills, what in tarnation are y’all writin’ ‘bout NOW?
…pay attention girl, there may be questions after.
…and for you folks outside the immediate family, you might learn somethin’ important by areadin’ this stuff

The family dinner might include cod cheeks, pizza, cornbread, snag done on the barbee, red salmon, whisky grilled baby back ribs and golabki (pronounced go wompki) and Fosters, Canadian and Budweiser might be served there with some Vodka slime and Angry Orchard Hard Cider for those that don’t want beer and ginger ale, Dew or Coke for those that have long drives ahead of them or the young’uns. You might need more than one bathroom for all of these folks, too, in case they need to go on a mission.

Let me introduce them to you, or at least some of them since some are also underage and don’t get us older folks in our family. We exist online in a game we all play within our alliance aka alli. I never use real names in stories so the head of the family happens to be from Australia so she is MissAussie (New South Wales, Australia) and she is more like group moderator and works with our unwritten doctrine that we are all equal really.

Then there is MrInAlaska (lives in Alaska, USA), MissBCneeNewfie (formerly from Newfoundland and now resides in British Columbia, Canada), MrBCneeMaritimer (formerly from Nova Scotia and now resides in British Columbia, Canada), MissBama (lives in Alabama, USA) and me, MrCanook (lives in Ontario, Canada).

Each of us, at any given time, has wondered if one of the family members might have had too much to drink. You see it all revolves around what families really do best and that is have fun around the dinner table. And it all became very clear when one of the members sort of started asking if one of the others was OK and then the first one got on private chat and asked if everything was alright with me. You see some of us joined from another game and were in another family where one member was an aunt (oh did I spell that wrong again) and the leader we did not much care for the way she ran the household. So we moved out eventually in search of a new family.

So those folks kind of knew me a little differently and the way I was acting in the new family would surely make you think I WAS drunk. Well it is mostly MissBama’s fault (just kidding, I love to kid her) since we became friends really quite recently and we like to joke around and talk like hicks sometimes and also talk like Ricky and Lucy Ricardo and she is Ricky and I am Lucy. So you have more reason to think that we are drunk. You see I don’t spell out words fully anymore and sometimes used hick language so it does look like I am goofy drunk (I don’t understand what you are saying to me might be written “I doen unnerstan what y’all r sayin’ to me”). Simply put I was a lot more conservative and boring before and my approach to fun was more reserved.

You see it is hard to judge that state (are you drunk) in a person in our alliance chat window where we go loose on one another. If you happen to walk into the middle of the conversation, well you might think they are all drunk. The simple truth is we are all kind of high on life right now and we are having so much fun that we act like drunkards at times. And we are a tight family as MissBama kind of summed up when MissAussie asked about what she thought of us moving to another location in the game. She simply responded with “I go w/mfamly”. (I will go with my family for you dumbazzes that don’t understand southern charm).

So the family is evolving and learning (alarnin’) more about each other each day and we are not perfect. I have 3 pairs of varying degrees of invisible waders that I wear on occasions when I step into various depths of piles of warm, stinky, sticky stuff that I get into trouble on purpose to add to the fun. The last pair is a full body suit made out of Kevlar, carbon fiber and ballistic nylon and I do have fun when I am wearing those.

So we are all good and nobody is going to be taken away by the folks wearing white suits but what is really nice about this family is that folks are concerned enough to think you might need help.

And if you are thinking of joining our family well you better not be anal or tight down in that region (no true Scotsmen need apply) and if you can’t take a joke well you are definitely in the wrong room. We are not a powerful family in the sense of the game itself yet (war game on the ocean) but we are truly powerful where it really matters and that is in the heart. We have lots of that to go around and when you are happy, happy, happy most of the time well it would certainly appear that these folks are all drunk.

And we have one drunk uncle in our family that will drink to just about anything and maybe that is why he has to ask are you folks drunk because he can’t see the trees for the forest sometimes but we all love him and pick on him as much as we can.

…he’s just a big ol’ teddy bar
…nobody here is acrazy, just a little loopy and proud of it!!!!

Yes it is hard to figure out who is talking because just like any country family dinner, everyone is talking all at the same time because they just get excited and want to share everything with everybody all at the same time.

...so yeppers, we all unnerstan why Y’all think we are drunk ‘cause I guess we are lmtfo (laugh my tail feathers off)
…we are all gonna’ be dead for a very long, long time so lighten up and have some fun with friends
…I do like Go Rest High on that Mountain by Vince Gill but I ain’t in no hurry to have it sung to me in a room full of folks all dressed like Johnny Cash. I’ma havin’ tooooo much fun!!!!

…and MissBama does not say tarnation but gollybills, she does use gollybills more often than not.